


If I Don't Have You

by lb4



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28975794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lb4/pseuds/lb4
Summary: "Never let her out of your sight. Never let your guard down. Never fall in love."You've been receiving threatening letters and your manager won't go a moment longer without getting you some protection.Enter Erwin Smith - protector, gentleman, and drop dead gorgeous.Rated Mature for now due to threat of violence, but will move to explicit later.
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Reader, Erwin Smith/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	If I Don't Have You

**Author's Note:**

> i got a little too into the bodyguard and could totally imagine erwin smith as frank farmer.  
> should i continue?  
> find me on tumblr @ lunamakaio and give me some requests or come be my friend. i'd totally appreciate anything, especially comments/feedback and kudos <3

“This is it, it has to be the final straw - we have to do something about this!”  
Your manager David cries out. 

The conversation continues on, but you’ve already tuned out, focusing your attention on the audio from the one earbud you have in. You’re used to crazy fans and you’re used to all the decisions around you being made on your behalf. You doubt any input is required from you right now.

Part of you is worried - you suppose. These threats seem to be escalating in scope and frequency, and go beyond just the usual occasional hate and silly comment from Twitter.  
The letters keep arriving at your managers office, but you’ve never actually seen the content of them. It took enough fight to be included in the discussion around the fact the letters were even being sent in the first place. After fighting to even learn about the situation, you knew there was little point trying to get involved further - another decision made on your behalf. They’d told you that you’re better off not knowing.

You continue to scroll on your phone - deciding to focus on some of the choreography videos you have saved in your gallery. Since you can’t dance here and now, you might as well still dedicate your time to practicing in the way you can, by consolidating the movements and the beats to this routine. You probably have it down to muscle memory, but more practice never hurts. Filming a music video is different than performing live - they can cut back and forth and use different takes, but being behind a camera isn’t as energising and fulfilling as being out there on stage and actually seeing the reactions of all your fans.

Despite the lack of control and autonomy you have over most aspects of your career and life, you take solace in knowing at least it brings joy and happiness to plenty of other people. What more could you ask for? It was all you had ever wanted, even if things hadn’t turned out exactly as you expected.

“(Y/N)!” David’s voice is louder in order to gain your attention, and you remove the single earbud and pause the video. “You’ll meet him tomorrow, okay?”

You nod, and the look he gives you lets you know you can leave - so you get up to wander out of the room, your assistant and friend Mikasa keeps pace beside you. 

“Uh, I’m sorry. Who am I meeting?” You ask her, now feeling genuinely a little bad you weren’t listening. Mikasa is always there by your side, she’s one of the only people who you feel actually cares about you and what you want out of this life. In the grand scheme of things, there’s not much she can really do, but having her there is sometimes just enough.

“David is getting you a bodyguard for the foreseeable future, in response to the threats. I think there’s more going on you haven’t been told.” I knew that, and Mikasa probably had graphic and frightening ideas about what that “more” could be - but she kept them to herself. “He’s coming tomorrow. David says he’s the best in the business, which probably doesn’t mean much but, I think some protection is probably a good idea right now.”

The last thing you needed was more people around you telling you where to go and what to do without actually giving a damn about you. You didn’t mind not being in control so much - you knew the sacrifice you made in order to get to where you had - but the callousness of the people around you who treat you like a product is more than irksome. It’s infuriating.  
No doubt you’re just some big pay check to this guy who David knows - and if David knows him, you worry about the actual quality of the person being hired.  
David is insufferable and a bullshitter, just like most of the people he knows, but that’s who the label had stuck you with.

“Psh, protection? You’re scary enough.” You joke, and Mikasa has a small, proud smile on her face at your comment that she tries to hide. You appreciate the fact that behind her quiet façade is a fiery and protective friend - but she’s right that security might not be a bad idea. If someone is going to come into harm's way on your behalf, it might as well be someone trained and compensated - and not your beloved friend. Mikasa’s boyfriend Eren would probably kill you himself if anything happened to her.

Mikasa’s phone beeps with a text alert, and she frowns slightly at the screen. “Jessica is on her way, she says she wants you to hang out instead of practicing this afternoon.” 

You sigh - one day things will be different.

___________________________________

The music blares throughout the entire room and the energy travels through you and compels you to move. Your latest track has a heavy and uplifting beat, and it fills you with genuine enthusiasm - the initial reaction of fans has been overwhelmingly positive. You’ve been going over this choreography for quite a while this morning, despite Jessica’s attempts to dissuade you. The filming of the video is soon, and you absolutely have the thing memorised, but she swears you should get drunk instead.

David’s daughter is a terrible influence, in your opinion. She’s barely a friend and insists on being part of your circle, riding the coattails of your success and popularity. Her father’s success is the only thing that can get her any sort of attention.  
You don’t resent her - she wants all the attention to make up for whatever void she has inside - you don’t blame her for chasing whatever it is that makes her feel somewhat decent. Even if that ambition is incredibly shallow.  
She is more of an irritation to your little friendship group than anything, and one you try to handle as gracefully as possible. Mikasa is never as successful as you are. 

You try to get your head back into the music - when the dancing becomes muscle memory it can be easy to keep going and get lost in your thoughts - your body going through the motions without your head being present.  
This new song is about living your best life, new crushes, dancing your heart out.  
Your meditative trance is better focused on these things, rather the little things in your day getting you down. Shaking off the thoughts, you get ready to pick back up at the chorus with more energy.

The music stops abruptly.

“He’s here, c’mon!” A voice calls out into the room. Mikasa goes to stand from her position sitting in the corner of the dance floor, but you shake your head and follow the assistant to the room where your new bodyguard would be waiting.

Try to remain positive, it might be alright. He will probably not give a shit about you like the rest of them, you’ll be able to drop him easily. Mikasa will definitely help.

When you arrive in the room, David seems to be in a fantastic mood as he chats to a large, imposing presence. When they see you enter, they both turn their attention to you.

The blonde man towers over David easily, and despite having a huge stature, his presence actually seems calm and comforting. His light blonde hair is brushed neatly, and his suit is impeccable - fitting him perfectly and showcasing strong shoulders and arms, a trim waist, and thick thighs. His eyes are twinkling cerulean, and it's a battle to decide which of his captivating features demands the most attention.  
He’s not like other security you’ve seen - he’s beautiful. 

And going off your assumptions, probably arrogant as all hell or full of complete shit like your manager is.

“This is Erwin Smith, we were in the army together.” David declares, slapping the taller man on the back. 

The army?! Well that’s certainly... confusing, unexpected?  
With the man in front of you, it makes perfect sense. His entire aura is commanding and sensible, he hasn’t even spoken yet and you know you’d hang on every word he says.  
You begin to wonder how him and David actually became friends.

You have to keep your composure, and at least try to give the man a fair chance. Surely not everyone David knows can be like him, just… most of the people he had surrounded you with. 

“Hello. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to working with you.” The man’s voice is silky, and he has manners at least. You will definitely find it hard to resist his commands. He reaches out a large hand for you to shake, and it envelops yours warmly. As he reaches, you notice the gun holster nestled under his suit jacket, and that definitely makes you feel a little uneasy. 

“What safety precautions are you taking already?” Erwin asks, turning all his attention to you. 

You look immediately at David, not used to being addressed so directly. David looks at Erwin with a sheepish smile and shrug. 

That’s strange, he’s almost subdued around Erwin.

David stutters. “She... she has her regular security Joe to look out for her.”

“I’ll need to speak with him, where is he now?” You’re staring intently at your new protector, and you notice a slight clenching of his jaw, before he turns to David with a polite, gracious smile. You wonder if he’ll find Joe as incompetent as you do.

David mumbles something about calling for him and scutters off. 

Erwin’s attention is back on you - and he’s looking you up and down.  
There’s no judgement in his eyes, and a genuine sense of interest. He’s smiling at you, but not the forced expression he had directed your manager's way.  
Despite the man's easy demeanour you can’t help but feel small and a little out of place. You’re stood, a little thing in tight workout gear as he stands tall in his pristine suit and with his flawless haircut.  
If he notices you staring, he doesn’t let on. “Do you have any stipulations for me? Any requests or accommodations?” His tone is friendly.

That certainly catches you off guard.

“No one’s ever asked me that before.” You sigh. “I’ll have a think, I guess?”

“I am here to serve you after all, Miss.” He bows his head slightly at you, and the gesture makes you feel incredibly warm inside. You think he might just be worth having around after all. 

“Joe is on his way here.” David laughs awkwardly as he interjects himself back into the conversation. “What’s happening here?”

Erwin holds your stare for a few moments longer, absolutely captivating you before he turns to David. “I need to go over my protocols with Olivia.” 

“Oh no, she doesn’t need to know any of that, I approve it all. I know you’re thorough Erwin, that’s why I asked you. She doesn’t need all the boring details.” 

Erwin takes a breath. “It’s really no issue, I insist.” His tone is polite, but you can tell he senses your discomfort, quickly tuning into the situation in front of him. “Lead the way and we can talk. I’ll catch up with you later, David.” His dismissal is indirect, but leaves no room for argument. 

You don’t need to be told twice and you immediately turn tail to the kitchen, you know the tall man will have no problem keeping up with your hurried pace. His long legs carry him with ease.

When you arrive in the kitchen, you go straight for the fridge - some water is probably a good idea after a workout, and it might help get your mind out the gutter. Erwin shuts the door behind you, and you feel incredibly thankful for the privacy.

“Can I get you a drink?” You ask shyly. 

“I’m fine, but thank you. May I sit?” He gestures to the stool in front of him.

You take a seat at the kitchen island, and slump slightly onto the surface. “Please.”

For a few moments, there is nothing but a peaceful silence. You have so many things you want to say, you’re not used to having the opportunity to actually speak. Erwin looks at you respectfully - showing more concern in these few moments than most have shown to you the past few years.

“What protocols do you and Joe already have?” He asks.

You instinctively laugh at that with a sense of derision. Joe and Protocols, it’s a funny idea. You see Erwin’s look of inquisition.  
“Sorry. Not laughing at you.” You calm yourself. “We’ve never discussed anything, if I need to go somewhere he just follows me until he finds something to drink.” 

Erwin seems a little taken aback for a brief moment, but regains his composure and tries to keep his face neutral. 

“Well. First things first, I’ll go over some rules I have for my clients. You can tell me what you think. Some are negotiable, some aren’t. We can talk about your schedule, anything you know about the letters. I’ll get security installed around the house - cameras, locks, things like that. How does that sound?” His voice is strong and determined, but soft.

“That’s fine, but I’m not used to things being so… regimented.” 

He laughs softly at that. “I’ll try and go easy on you, but no promises. My goal is to keep you safe no matter what.”

“And you’re a man on a mission?” You ask bravely. 

“Exactly. It’s my duty to protect you. I take that duty very seriously.” With his words, his voice does become a little more grave. “The threat against you is no joke. When it comes to your safety, I expect you to do as I say.” 

The commanding way he speaks and his certain words actually add gravity to the situation that you’d never considered before. You’ve known this man a few minutes and you already trust him with your life - quite literally. 

You nod. “Can I ask something?”

“Anything.” His response is resolute.

“I’ll do what you say, I just ask… that you be honest with me? And let me have a say in the way things go.” You are incredibly shy with your request, but he’s proven himself so far, and if your assumptions about him now are correct, he will graciously accept your request.

He considers it for a moment. A moment that stretches and drags. You’d long given up on trying to have any say in a lot of things in your life, so making this small step was quite the big deal.  
“Sounds fair to me. Now, you’ll have to excuse me, I need to go speak with David and start preparations. We’ll talk more about how things will go.”

You nod silently, and fiddle with the lid on your water bottle until you hear the kitchen door shut behind him as he leaves.

Your protector is a titan and yet a gentleman. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.


End file.
